I am stretching canvases, my hands are in bits with blisters and my bingo wings haven’t seen so much exercise in a long time. I have 12oz canvas which is incredibly heavy and stretching it, even with the pullers is exhausting. I end up only doing one or two a day but, simply, I can’t do more than that. It’s giving me a lot of time to think …. not always a good thing … about what I am going to be doing on the canvas. Sometimes, thinking too much is just headwrecking, I’d rather be ‘doing’ than thinking. But, I am wondering about continuing the sewing theme onto the canvas. I think, that probably, when I am working, the work will suggest where I go next and the thinking will be taken out of the equation. At least, that is what I am hoping.

The stretchers for my canvases are here and the canvas is arriving tomorrow …. doesn’t it all take so long ! The stretchers are not what I was expecting, not deep enough, so I am having to ‘make do’. I’m sure it’s all happening this way for a reason. I just have to remain calm and look to the future and keep on going. Though that’s easier said than done sometimes. Hopefully I will stretch the canvas tomorrow when I get back from town then live with them for a while before starting to work.

In the meantime I have been working with the lads in the Kingsriver Community. They are making great progress in their screen printing techniques. At the moment we are printing easter cards and table mats on canvas. Although their designs are very free and lacking in inhibition, translating them into screen print stencils can be difficult and time consuming so, we are learning to simplify the originals in terms of both colour and form.

Life is busy.

Why is there such a difference between working small and working big. I normally work in a small format and have been trying to get bigger for many years. I find it so difficult. I was advised during the Artlinks mentor programme to work in three formats from small to big and have been trying to do this.

I have worked on a couple of pieces over the last week in a slightly larger format than normal and will have to keep pushing out the boundaries in terms of size. I think I have to keep ‘playing’ and not get too precious about the work, it’s easy start thinking about how much paint you are using or canvas or whatever and this limits you in your work.

I am using acrylic inks at the moment, using their fluidity to create movement in the work. I dilute them with distilled water or use an acrylic medium to slightly thicken the ink. I want the medium to ’speak’ for itself. it’s a new venture for me and it remains to be seen whether it will work.

The work is finally starting and the stretchers have been ordered in Kilkenny. I am still trying to decide on the type of canvas I want to use. I have been experimenting with a heavy cotton canvas with a tight weave, though today I found a large piece of a looser weave linen/cotton fabric on which I did a few test paintings. It’s good to work on, on top of board, I have yet to try it stretched. It’s difficult buying canvas off the net without seeing the quality and structure of it. I shall have to try as I am not going to Dublin for a while and I need to start the work.

After doing the colour samples all the rest of my art time is taken up with looking at the landscape and taking photos as visual references.  The autumn landscape shone with bleached fields cut to the ground and vertical and horizontal stripes of colour everywhere you looked.   During the heavy frosts the colours were amazing blends of soft whites, pinks, greys and  blues with occasional flashes of hard black.  Then the snow came and the landscape was transformed once again with stark visuals as the white contrasted sharply and edgily with the blacks of winter trees and ruts in the fields.  Everywhere you look now the colours are changing the land is being ploughed the rich browns are contrasting with the soft greens of a budding spring.  The grey lowering skies are broken by bands of yellow light along the skyline.  It’s a great time of year and although it may be hard to get back into working in my studio I am definately working in terms of observation.

Another day and I have done some more samples on canvas, though still not achieving the marks I want to make. I tried mixing oils with white spirit and oil paint with raw linseed oil and oil paint with stand oil. It’s basically trying to thin the paint to the consistancy I require without losing the colour. It is also about the way the paint moves on the canvas, how it soaks into it or lies on the surface.

As I haven’t found any information on stains, I have decided to try and create my own stains. I am in the process of wrapping a piece of fabric round an iron object and keeping it wet. The problem with this is the lack of control with the marks created. I have achieved some lovely rust stains in their vibrant yellow orange colour, but to manipulate them to the correct area and size and position will require a lot more experimentation.
I will have to look at creating other stains too. Whether the stains will last the test of time is another problem. When we don’t want to stain something they will stay but when we do they have the opposite tendency.

Time to write, the days seems to pass in a flash. I have made the final decision to leave my job. Done and dusted.
The next thing is to get back into an art frame of mind.

I have started to do samples of various paints on to canvas. Acrylic Inks + water, Oil paints + artists’ medium, natural pigments mixed with silkscreen medium, acrylic paints + water, silk paints. Applying them with different applicators plastic, wood, rubber and brushes. I am looking for the effect I want. I haven’t found it yet.

When I went to the mentoring day, one of the mentors mentioned ’stains’. The idea interests me, but I don’t know what they are. I can’t find any information on stains… bar the usual sort. I’ve looked on the net and in various art catalogues but nowhere are they mentioned. If anyone knows anything can you drop me a line here on the blog.

I am trying to make a choice on the path my life will take in the immediate future … the real difficulty is whether or not to leave my job to give me the time to do my art work. At the moment I am run off my feet with work and haven’t picked up a pen, pencil or paintbrush since before Christmas. The decision I am really making is whether or not I am serious about being an artist …. if I am, then I have to give up the surveys and concentrate firmly on working in my studio for at least five out of seven days a week. Obviously, it means living on a lot less money as I don’t want to sign back on the dole but I, possibly, can do that and maybe I will get one more day per week working in The Kingsriver Community which would make it completely viable.

It is a difficult decision, especially in these days of recession and unemployment, and I am concerned that giving up a paying job, through choice, at this time is slightly crazy.

The alternative is to work like a mad woman until the survey finishes in August or September, forgo a Kilkenny Arts Festival exhibition for 2009 and the continuity of my work both for myself and my customers and see if I can pick up the threads in October and work from there…. Any feedback from readers would be gratefully and gracefully recieved.

Phew… what a day ! It’s blowing a gale outside and it feels like the conservatory is about to become airborne. Life is totally hectic and I haven’t been able to do a single piece of work.. art work.. since before Christmas. The ideal of only one day out of the studio is about as far out of reach as it can possibly get. The fact that I haven’t been paid for December’s work as yet makes the situation impossible in every regard. I was banking (sorry) on the fact that I was due to get paid on the 15th or at the latest 16th ie: the middle of the month, so it’s very hard to find that the money is not yet in my account. Add that to the fact that I was taxed €395 of €825 just before Christmas and that my P60 (to claim a tax refund) will only be available to me in February and you will find a very disgruntled person sitting at the keyboard. Yes, I railed at a person on the other end of the telephone, for all the good it will do, but it got me precisely no where and I still have to wait until Monday to see if my wages have been paid. Lucky to have a job… yes, I am and what’s more, I love it, but, inefficiency is the bane of my life. I would be fired were I to be as inefficient as the people doing my wages. Ok, I have had my rant, so, apologies one and all.

Another day and I am working on my plan of art action for the next couple of years. Many thanks go to Cathy Fitzgerald, Artlinks, for sending me the documented minutes of the mentoring session. It is useful to have as it helps to clarify the thoughts and keep the direction simple and unconfused. Also it reminded me of certain aspects of the conversation that I had forgotten and, indeed, some that I didn’t remember hearing at all. It’s also another persons ‘take’ on the session which is always extremely valuable.

I am also working hard outside of the studio, our main car gave up the ghost on Christmas Eve with a broken timing chain, the cost of which is prohibitive. I don’t think we will be getting it repaired, so we have to look for a cheap reliable car in the very near future.